There is a tragic comedy to a marriage that dwells on mutual contempt. In How Dearly I Hate You, Ochilo and Jackie have sarcasm for breakfast, humiliation for lunch and abstinence for dinner.
Wedding boxes that remain unopened three years after marriage symbolise hearts that remain closed to the prospect of romance. Jackie, pushed into the union by her father, defies Ochilo at every opportunity.
In a review for a local daily, art critic Margaretta wa Gacheru said: „Jackie serves as a voice for the voiceless, all those young, helpless women and girls who get married off or thrown into servitude without having a choice in the matter.“
It’s one thing to quarrel in private, but Jackie drags guests through the lows of her loveless marriage. Ochilo gives as good as he gets, turning every confrontation into a yelling match.
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While she accuses him of being impotent, he contends that she’s barren. He says he can’t inflict upon his children the „horror“ of having her as their mother. She tells anyone who cares to listen that he’s a school dropout. „Sometimes I go to bed and start to strip. And then I remember he’s a class four,“ she tells them.
Ochilo pretends he’s going out to see someone else. Jackie shoos him off and claims she is waiting for her own lover. He occasionally tries to kiss and make up but is quickly rebuffed. She once indulges his advances just long enough to raise his hopes before laughing out loud. Creditors hound Ochilo. The rent is several months in arrears. Jackie blasts him for being too lazy to raise the cash, but it turns out she was diverting to her own upkeep money Ochilo left lying around for payment to the landlord. „I thought it was for the salon,“ she says unabashed.
Jackie talks about poisoning Ochilo. She tells him she’s reading a chemistry book to figure out the most effective concoction.
„You cannot kill me,“ Ochilo says. „Everyone needs someone to hate.“
The lack of an offspring prompts Ochilo’s mother to visit. She talks metaphorically of getting the stew for chapati right, but it only makes for awkward therapy on the couple’s sex life. News of Ochilo’s sudden death in an accident breaks while Jackie is among neighbours and relatives at a friend’s wedding committee. Tributes pour in from one and all. The landlord sets the tone by swearing that Ochilo always paid his rent up front.
Others follow the lead, except the committee chairman. „I’m not saying I want Jackie,“ he says, eyeing her, „but Ochilo will be happy to know she’s in good hands.“ Jackie’s wails lend truism to Ochilo’s statement about needing someone to hate. „I used to take it for granted he would always be home,“ she says. „Now I miss him and his disses.“
The play ran in September, but its social commentary lingers. The absence of a child, though, was a missed opportunity to portray the other side of marital dynamics. Even in real life, one can laugh at retorts between companions. But what if you have to live under the same roof with them, or to endure their barbs during get-togethers?
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